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Rocking On

This little baby boy who’s in pink pajamas has been rocked to sleep for almost two years now.  Every nap, every night night.  Sometimes, I get annoyed while I rock him – “Just go to sleep!” I think.  After particularly long days, I add an expletive or two in there.  I always come around though, to the place where I surrender to how we do it, to how he – the only one of our three – absolutely needs to go to bed.  Do any of us receive enough love, enough kindness, enough togetherness, enough patience in this life?  I rock to fill us both as best I can.

 

Rocking On

I start rocking,

a little angry at this situation

we’ve created.

I need to shower,

to eat,

to clean up,

to go to the bathroom

alone.

 

I rock

frustrated and annoyed

until those feelings rock

right on out of me.

He waits for me,

patiently enough.

 

He waits

until the prickliness is gone,

until he’s turned me around,

until the space he’s made

inside of me

is big enough

for the love

to come through.

 

Then there’s room

to let the love in

and back out

into him,

like the tide

as we rock.

 

I love you, he breathes.

I love you, I exhale.

 

I want to lie him down

awake in his bed

and have him fall asleep alone,

so that I can hurry off and

be alone.

 

He won’t or can’t

let me go

or he knows

that none of us

in this life

receive enough love,

enough kindness,

enough togetherness,

enough patience

as we might wish for

so he’d better take it

when it’s free,

when the price is only

a few extra rocks in a chair.

6 Comments
  • Oh, Annie – thanks for sharing this.

    February 11, 2015 at 4:55 pm
  • Beautiful as always!:)
    Love the comparison to the tide and your love exhaling/
    I adore your poetry:)

    February 17, 2015 at 4:26 am
  • Oh, I love this. Perfect: “until the space he’s made

    inside of me

    is big enough

    for the love

    to come through.”
    Yes.

    February 19, 2015 at 1:18 am

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