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Before You Go….

I took this picture when these two said goodbye to each other on her first day of school this week. It is the most beautiful moment I’ve got for the week with 0.0 other contenders. Of course that is probably not true, but I like to be dramatic. This week was a doozy.

We are all so tired here; maintaining a schedule after having zero schedule all summer is exhausting. I am not ready for scheduled time. I do not like clocks being the boss of us.

But, they are for now and we are each revolting in our own ways. I hear all of my little people now; they are all fighting over some Pokemon coin that everyone is claiming as his/her own. Even the two-year-old is laying claim, which makes it all the more fun. I am hiding like any decent mother would in a situation like this; I cannot help them with everything, for goodness’ sakes. Lord of the Flies is how it must be at times.

But, these two here – she, especially – always want a kiss and a hug when any one of us leaves. They must give and get love before we do the next thing. They demand it and we all follow. Besides clocks, the young ones are the bosses of us. And sometimes, thank goodness for that. Sometimes, they know what is the next right thing to do. They each bring so much love to our family, just the same way each of your wonderful people do.

Fourteen years ago today, people left their homes and their wonderful people, and their lives were taken. Just like that. Some got to sneak in one last phone call or leave one last message voicing their love for their people. Listening to those messages is listening to the holiest of words for me – they cut all the crap because life, as they knew it, was over for them, and all that was left was the love.

Today, in honor of all of those people whose wonderful people are missing them, I will give my people a goodbye that is worthy of all that they lost that day, of all that their families lost. I will follow these two crazy kids’ lead and I will make it count. Of course, none of us ever knows what’s to come, but more than that – what if we gave our love out of the purest place of giving rather than out of fear? What if we remembered to cut the crap not because we might die today but because that is just a good way to live today?

She hugs him like this not because she fears not seeing him again but because she feels and she shows it (and let me tell you, she shows ALL OF IT – the good and the bad – which is why I am tired, for goodness’ sakes).

These two give it up – the way we all would if we didn’t care about clocks telling us we’re late, if we weren’t so tired that we put on mismatching shoes, if we thought for even a moment that we would not have the chance again, if we took a second to remember that this is what it’s all about here.

After sweet kisses and words, and tippy-toed hugs, she walked into class a tiny bit late. I was sort of rushing her until I realized what was happening before me. Then, I shut up and let them be. There is nothing in that classroom that is going to teach her this. There is nothing in that classroom that is more important than this. This, in fact, is the classroom, too. She, in fact, is the teacher, sometimes. Clocks are important, schedules are important, but this is always more so.

Do good in the world today. Spread light. Give love. Take a moment. Give everyone a little grace if they’re running behind. Maybe they were taking an extra moment to really live and love.

Going to leave my hiding spot now to do the same.

XO

Annie

5 Comments
  • Thank you ❤️

    September 11, 2015 at 12:44 pm
  • Heather Henricks
    Reply

    Bless you, Annie, for sharing such beautiful words. I send you peace and love today. Heather Henricks

    September 11, 2015 at 1:13 pm
  • Oh, yes. Hot tears. This photo, this story, this remembrance of 14 years ago. Yes. I remember reading about those last voicemails and it still chills me to the bone to recall that. xoxox

    September 11, 2015 at 3:29 pm
  • A lovely reminder. Thank you. “Spread light. Give love. Give Grace.” Love it.

    September 11, 2015 at 4:22 pm
  • Annie
    Reply

    Love this, Em! Thanks!

    September 16, 2015 at 3:57 am

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